What Do I Do With My Hands When I’m Talking?

Here’s a question I get all the time:

“I feel awkward when I’m talking. I realized it’s because I’m not sure what do with the my hands. Any advice?”

I answer this in the short video below:

If you have this problem, I have a question for you.

Do you have a “Go-To” story you always tell at parties? Something you’ve probably told a thousand times?

Maybe it’s an embarrassing story about you during a college trip.

Or maybe it’s the story about how you met your husband or wife. (It was Craigslist, wasn’t it? Don’t lie!)

Think about the last time you told this story. Were you worried about what to do with your hands?

No, you weren’t!

The story just flowed out of you. You’ve told that story so many times that you could probably hop up on stage at an open mic and kill it.

Here’s the truth: If you’re worried about your hands while you’re talking, you’ve already lost the game.

FOCUS ON THE MESSAGE (YOUR BODY WILL FOLLOW)

Whether you’re telling your story at a party, doing a sales video for your online business, or giving a keynote at a conference, you should be focusing on your message.

If you find yourself worried about what to do with your hands, it’s a sign you haven’t practiced your speech and delivery enough, or even worse, you’re not connected to your message. 

Like the example of your “Go-To” story, when you practice delivering your message and stay connected, you will come across as a natural. And when you feel natural in your mind, your body will (naturally) follow suit.

So use any anxiety you have about your body language or your hands as a red flag to let you know you need to connect back to your message.

HERE ARE TWO TIPS FOR YOUR HANDS WHILE YOU PRACTICE YOUR MESSAGE

Two basic tips to help you forget about your hands while you’re practicing your message:

  1. Lace your fingers together: Lace your fingers together and let them fall, relaxed, in front of you. Relax your shoulders and just talk. Make sure your fingers are relaxed. If you’re lacing them too tight, you’ll look nervous.
  2. Pretend you’re holding weights: Imagine you’re holding two heavy, 100+lb dumbbells (or if you’re like me, 4lbs). Let them fall naturally to your side. Again, you want to be relaxed, imagining that the dumbbells are weighing your hands down.

Want more? I put together an awesome video, “The 3 biggest mistakes people make on camera (and how to fix them)”. The best part? It’s totally free.

Just slap your name and e-mail below and I’ll send it to you, you lucky lucky lil dog you!

WANT MORE?

I put together an awesome video, “The 3 biggest mistakes people make on camera (and how to fix them)”. The best part? It’s totally free.

Just slap your name and e-mail below and I’ll send it to you, you lucky lucky lil dog you!

1 Comment

  1. Tara Pilling says:

    You are amazing Surina! Yes, the message and not the hands. Love it!